I’m probably too tired to write at this moment in time, but that’s generally true so I might about well. I woke up this morning disapointed with the results of the American election, disapointed with what it said about my country and aware of my own failings as a citizen. What I most wanted was to write, but I didn’t really have a space. So after months of thinking about it, I’m finally getting around to creating one.
I’m finishing my last semester of college and I go to a very small Christian college in the rural mid-West, about 500 people. The idea behind smallerfish as a name originally came from the experience of arriving in a very small community, a small pond, and making less of an impact than I expected. Coming from a bigish city and a really large high school, the feeling of being outshone, almost inconsequential was one that was very difficult for me for a long time. I’m really no longer the person who thought about college, or community in that way anymore. But I’ve thought about beginning this process for a long time and have become rather attached to the name. At the very least, that’s where I started and I find value in preserving that. I have continued to think about the way the world is made up of comparatively small lives and experiences, and the value of obscurity. Our experiences can be both small and valuable, both remarkable and unremarked upon.
So here begins my public shouting into the void. For now at least I find the idea of writing and sharing in a public way interesting and valuable even though I know very few people are likely to ever read this. At the very least it makes me preserve the thoughts. And there is a value in doing the thing, in recognizing that our voices may be insignificant and powerful simultaneously. Which is maybe melodramatic, but hopefully also true. I’m not sure what I’ll talk about here, but knowing me it will probably mostly be politics and television. And in a couple of months the terror of young adulthood. You’re welcome to stick around if you like. I’ll be here.